Knotty Knickers

The Breast of Nelson Nightlife

Lexi, above, is one of the 3 New Zealanders in my course. She is a dear thing - really sweet and curious and very much ahead of most her age group! It is our intention to go out and drink more. I've got Ireland coming up, and if not I, like her, simply would want to. We are students after all!

Our English rose is wicked and sassy and spanks me rather a lot, now that I think of it. I think she'd make an excellent naughty English Schoolmistress. She gives a wicked Ayurvedic massage too.

This is the Brit lass's Brit boy. He did a carpentry course last year, hence his photo title Mr. Wood. (I understand that not everybody can see the photo names. Sorry about that - I can't either, if it makes you feel better.) A very nice gentleman I was delighted that having us three chickens running about was not overly onerous for him and that he showed us his.

Other than these photos the night proved Aphrodite still loves me and all the Aromatherapy work I'm doing emotionally and psychologically seems to be doing me well.

So, knowing that I'm me, with a pink Venusian glow about me, don't freak out about the nipple in the photo below. Ignore it or enjoy it or do as I did - laugh really hard when you realize it is there in the photo and very noticeable.

It crossed my mind as I posted these photos that my friends could probably pick my breasts out of a lineup...I'm alright with it, of course, but it is a funny thing. But then, aside from the nipple - who hasn't taken such a shot of my rack?

Sexual Soap Box

Kiwi women are told to get cervical pap smears every THREE years.

American women are told to get them yearly from age 18 or whenever they become sexually active.

This is due to the increasing risk of HPV, forms of which cause cervical cancer, with each new partner.  The more partners, the higher your chances of getting it. 

Not so much a need to freak out - most women will get HPV and their body will take care of the problem within two years.  But it's a good thing to keep an eye on should you have a nastier form and the cervical cells begin to develop wonky.  

Now, the fact that New Zealand women were scientifically rated as the most promiscuous nationality in studies published in late 2007, early 2008 - this alarms me to no end.  Mostly because I presume that they are sleeping with a good number of Kiwi men - and since I myself don't mind the idea of that...the general health status of New Zealanders concerns me.  Because in having sex with one person, I am effectively having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with.  I learnt that at Summit K-12, my alternative school in Seattle and the idea was so repulsive and upsetting I remained a virgin until I was 20 and to this day it still grosses me out and causes happy and varying long lengths of self-protective celibacy.

So...along with the knowledge that Thailand has such an active sex industry and having decided that no male who has been there is getting abosolutely access to a particular oraffice - I think that in general for the duration of my life here in New Zealand there will be no brazilian waxes (skin on skin contact increases the risks for everything under the sun - and I just don't like the look on me) and there will be some high standards for sexytime partners.  

And, that concludes today's rant.  Because I'm getting kicked out of the building!

I Love Lelo

Lelo - Lust Objectified.  Is it any wonder I am so taken?

So - now I have four Lelo pleasure objects, as they call them, and while I could get into telling you about the items themselves, I expect some of you are not interested in hearing about it.  I need to do so more research anyhow!  Maybe when I leave the country I'll feel content and safe enough to return to my bold and raunchier postings...for now, I'm being downright behaved!

At any rate, the thing I want to share presently hasn't to do with the function of the playthings but the packaging.  Lelo is a Swedish company and touts that about the design.  For me though, the colour selections have made me stupid happy and slowed down the buying process.  Then the things get into my hot little hands and each time I'm just entranced by the packing - sleek cardboard outsides that match the toy colour chosen; black textured hard paper boxes beneath this; simple satin pouches to store the things (mostly white, but a black outside with white inside for the Elise); and then of course - there are little things, like the light purple flowers that are delicately splayed across a black little handheld vibe; and the names - I've got (and I know this will be too much inside scoop for some of you) the Nea, Mia, Ella and Elise.  There are also Gigi, Lily, Liv, and Iris.  Still, the colour coordinated boxes just flip my happy switch.  A small silly thing, and it really settles it in my mind that this is a company that cares about it's product - that they are useful, of course, but also that they are an indulging delight to think of and view, even when on a shelf and as yet unopened.  

If you haven't googled them yourself - go here to see the items contained within the box.  For those of you in Seattle, Babeland does carry some of the line, but not in full and not with all colour options.  They also have a coupon for online use that you get if you join the email list.  FYI.

The real fix though?  They sell gold plated vibrators!  If any man were ever to approach me for some sort of proposal of commitment, I highly advise he present me with a set of Lelo's gold items.  Give me a ring and I'll leave you on the spot - give me pleasure objects and I'll purr.

Important Arrivals!

The post service must LOVE me today.  How else to explain the three eagerly awaited packages arriving in one swift go?  (Two more shipments are expected - bedding and things to bed.)  

First - NEW SHOES.  Earth mary janes from Planet Shoes...just like my superb green boots these were cozy the moment I put them on.  I don't even notice the much famed negative heel.  My own Cinderella brand!  The colour is called Gourdon and I have no idea why - I looked it up and got nothing in my laptop's dictionary; they are like a dark grey velvet - lots of depth to the leather.  Love them.  Love even more that they come in a bazillion colours.  But am only taking these with me.  No more shoe buying for me.  I still have black boots to return to REI.  

Second - Babeland's additions to my toybox.  More Lelo fun.  This time - USB charged off my laptop!  Woo-hoo!  And a metal toy.  I haven't even brought it out of it's box yet.  The girls in the shop were very encouraging about it and the fact that it was out of stock in shop and online and had several pages of ecstatic reviews has me happily thinking I need a little ritual time with Aphrodite to suss it out.  Additionally - metal!  How hygienic is that?  Fantastic, don't you agree?

Seriously though, I am completely smitten with the new crop of environmentally friendly pleasure items on the market.  The days of hunting the house for batteries have ended, ladies and gentlemen, do enjoy yourselves, won't you?  How telling is it that my hippiness is taking over my sexuality?  Or, rather, what does that tell?  Good things, I think, good things.  

Third - the magic number...  my passport has arrived back bearing a MULTIPLE ENTRY STUDENT VISA TO NEW ZEALAND!!!  I can stop being crazy now.  No more 'should I come up with a back up plan?  I don't want a back up plan!' nonsense.  Now, I need to begin earnestly shopping airfares to Ireland for myself and Miss Lit (July 09 is ours!) and get a good grip on the reality of when my visa expires (December 15th, 2009), what the process will be when I'm there to get an additional year, as well as look at my end of term visit to Australia - what and where and who.  (Shut up - I have currently 4 friends there and I'd like to visit them is all.)  

Suncadia Overnight

Had an unexpected invite to stay at Suncadia last night. Did of course. I'm an Adventure Girl, am I not? The above photo was taken late morning. Pretty, yes? More pretty than my freshest of fresh faces below - but my, look at the hair horns! I thought that was too funny not to share. Even my hair knows I'm evil and horny. And the other one, well, I just like the number three so I'm putting it in too.

Tally Quandary

In the ongoing and likely never ending debate 'what acts do we count as sex' I have hit a bump.  On my tally list, do I count myself?  (Yes, yes, yes - I keep count and I actively work towards new goals.  I am a planner, what did you expect?)  I mean - I have f**ked myself.  I'm working on doing it better even.  So...am I already at my 2008 quota?  

Of all the romantic, practical, meaning bestowing things I could find to reflect on at the end of 2008, it really is no shocker this is what is pestering my brain.

Somewhat related: those of you with a healthy sense of sexual humour must watch this hysterical video by the Midwest Teen Sex Show.  Should you be lacking a funny bone that connects to sexuality, you should also watch it and try to work on that.  Like me with my self-loving homework.

I Have An Accidental Hair Colour

Now, it is late and I have Lelo Nea instructions to read...

All Hail Rob Brezny

"Libra Horoscope for week of December 4, 2008

I urge you not to Google the word "duh," Libra. If you do, you'll mark yourself as a conformist trend-slave, joining over 33 million people who have already done it before you. Furthermore, you will be in danger of wasting the potential the cosmos is offering you, which is to reap rich rewards by exploring brave new frontiers on the edges of your awareness. So please be insanely curious about stuff you've never heard of and people you've never met. Research subjects that tantalize your imagination and stick your nose in where it supposedly doesn't belong. But don't Google "duh." "

So - that's my horoscope this week.  Nothing special you say?  I beg to differ.  Because this week, after a very long time of consideration and indecision about whether or not there might be something to interest me, I am going to the Wet Spot.  Yes, indeed.  With a dear friend.  Neither of us wants to make out with the other but we are amused that in having come up with outfits to wear to the Women's Pampering Night (I'm still a cosmetics girl after all these years, how can I pass a pamper party up - hair brushing is on the agenda!) we will be incredibly more clothed that we usually are together.  That's because we are spa sisters and spa going requires nakedness.  

At any rate...doesn't that make my horoscope more intriguing and pertinent?  I think so.  Because I do have questions and I think that this event may offer opportunities to have them answered.  In graphic detail.  Brave new frontiers indeed.  Captain Kirk would be proud.

Since I've not said a thing about it here on the blog previously, and since some of you are probably reeling wonderfully far back already from the idea of me going to a sex club (without you - I imagine that is actually causes the reeling) - I have decided that it won't traumatize you much more to drop it in here that the third lovely lady in our party is the lovely lady of the couple I've been seeing for a bit. 

Do try not to fall on your ass after reading that.  Please?  Or attempt to hurl things at me through your computer.  

Yoga School Day Five

Already day five!  Half way through the first bulk half of my training.  Still breathing, still alive, less sore in the arms, way more sore along my right back - old injuries, not old issues, far as I can tell.

Today is the full moon - did you know that?  Poornima Chandra.  Pretty sounding, eh?  We, my room mate who's in the training and a French guy we've befriended, went to the beach and watched the sun set and then goofed around doing Yoga and taking photos and watching the big, yellow, lunar mama come up.  Always makes me happy.  Did make me long for my QA bathtub with it's perfect positioning for moonlight and roses.

Then there was Chinese food for dinner with a surprise addition of two other trainees who just walked into the restraunt right behind us.  Nice people.  Made for a good evening.  Tomorrow, we'll feed ourselves in the hostel kitchen and teach the Frenchman some Yoga. 

So, most of today added to my joy.  Unlike the alcoholic rejects that work at the hostel.  Well, just one, really.  But a BIG ALCOHOLIC REJECT.  White trash all the way.  If he starts yelling again and 1:45, 2:55, 4:whatever, 5:something am again...I'm walking out on the balcony and pushing him off it.  Verbally at least.  In fact, I'd better put my key by my phone so that I can get back in the room if that is necessary. 

Aside from that, I haven't had quality chocolate or steak and I am getting very edgy and want to get me some naked Yoga practice too.  Desire, desire, desire.  Full moon, my birthday coming up, wonderful change of hormones since the last birthday, all this embodiment practice going on...sigh.

Leonesse Birthday Fete: Wednesday